"I doubt if it will be much longer before time takes my Poet from me."
Only sixteen hours before I typed the above fated words into my blog, and as I looked into his eyes, he was gone. My Poet has left me.
In all honesty, he is the first man ever to accomplish the feat. He ran away from me before I could run from him. I had considered running last night, and fought against myself with strength I never believed I had and stayed. Then, God forced him to move on. His personal life and issues have made it so that he cannot keep up a relationship right now. I accept that, and cannot stop loving him, despite the torment I now face.
I tried not to cry. We are friends, and there is no profit in the tears, but they kept welling up inside of me. The worst part was, he had let me run away for the last two months and finally rejoiced at my return only 6 days before. At least I had 6 days with him.
Now, some may say that perhaps he will get better, and that I should be optimistic and hope for the future, but I know that I will never have him again. When he does feel better, someone else will take my place, and I will blink back the tears to celebrate his happiness. I have lost something very close to me, but at least I had it for a time.
Real love! Burning passion and desire that left me only filled to the brim with contentment. Kisses that said everything without a single word! How can I be upset when I got to have just a piece of real joy for six whole days?
We had considered going further physically today than ever before, which would have potentially made me his first, but he backed out and stood next to his morals. While my weakness and sexual frustration left me grappling for his reason, I soon discovered that he has inner strength I can only hope to attain, and I admire him even more now. I am glad that we did not go further. I am glad that I am not for him.
I am so happy that he is free of this, and I hope that she will love him the way he deserves to be loved. I hope that the girl that does lay in his arms everyday knows how lucky she is, and what sort of gift God has granted her! I hope that she knows what others, namely me, would be willing to give to be where she is.
I will toast my Poet at his wedding, and I will be ever glad for his happiness.
Tonight, I weep, do not doubt that I cry for my loss more than I can explain. Yet, I smile, knowing that I was able to give my love exactly what he desired without trying to hold him to myself.
You are free.
I will be here for you, broken hearted but ready to make you smile, anytime you need me.
My cell-phone is always on.
In all honesty, he is the first man ever to accomplish the feat. He ran away from me before I could run from him. I had considered running last night, and fought against myself with strength I never believed I had and stayed. Then, God forced him to move on. His personal life and issues have made it so that he cannot keep up a relationship right now. I accept that, and cannot stop loving him, despite the torment I now face.
I tried not to cry. We are friends, and there is no profit in the tears, but they kept welling up inside of me. The worst part was, he had let me run away for the last two months and finally rejoiced at my return only 6 days before. At least I had 6 days with him.
Now, some may say that perhaps he will get better, and that I should be optimistic and hope for the future, but I know that I will never have him again. When he does feel better, someone else will take my place, and I will blink back the tears to celebrate his happiness. I have lost something very close to me, but at least I had it for a time.
Real love! Burning passion and desire that left me only filled to the brim with contentment. Kisses that said everything without a single word! How can I be upset when I got to have just a piece of real joy for six whole days?
We had considered going further physically today than ever before, which would have potentially made me his first, but he backed out and stood next to his morals. While my weakness and sexual frustration left me grappling for his reason, I soon discovered that he has inner strength I can only hope to attain, and I admire him even more now. I am glad that we did not go further. I am glad that I am not for him.
I am so happy that he is free of this, and I hope that she will love him the way he deserves to be loved. I hope that the girl that does lay in his arms everyday knows how lucky she is, and what sort of gift God has granted her! I hope that she knows what others, namely me, would be willing to give to be where she is.
I will toast my Poet at his wedding, and I will be ever glad for his happiness.
Tonight, I weep, do not doubt that I cry for my loss more than I can explain. Yet, I smile, knowing that I was able to give my love exactly what he desired without trying to hold him to myself.
You are free.
I will be here for you, broken hearted but ready to make you smile, anytime you need me.
My cell-phone is always on.
posted by Nat Rivera at 10:30 PM
1 Comments:
There's a saying in spanish. "El amor es corto, pero el olvido... es para siempre." Which means that while love is short, the memories are forever. Sometimes memories can be healthy. My boyfriend may be a nightmare now, but the memories are priceless. At least your first true love was a positive thing overall, right?
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