Lain Waste

Lord,

The gifts you gave me are not being used. I know not what my duty is nor where I must travel. The journey continues on but I have dampened the once bright light you cast upon my trail. I do not even know if I travel in the right direction. It is night and I cannot see the horizon for the trees. I have sold you out, but I still ask myself one thing. Am I the Christian Judas or Simon Peter? Can I still repent or must I hang the noose about my neck in despair?

Lord, how I have lusted after your acceptance! Yet, even now I am scared to ask for forgiveness. I do not feel your unending love because I do not deserve it.

Desert me, I beg of you! Leave me in my dirtiness! I am not worthy of this grace, this beauty you let me see! You gift me with the future, the past, and the present, and still I fail thee! Your daughter I am now, caressing your feet in hypocrisy while I curse you with my actions! Every sin becomes a brick in the wall that separates us eternally.

I have crushed your creation, your amazing immaculate picture, and I can no longer look in your eyes. Your empire is lain waste and my guilty stance gives away my lack of worth.

Oh Lady, Sir, my God and Savior!
Whatever name you claim now!

I love thee more than I can ever tell you

But you already know

You are my fire and radiance, my reason to strive forth

I call thee today for assistance

Light my path and give strength to my broken hands!