Diddle Pud

Reminded of my Mom,
The woman I never knew,
Her life in high school.

cigarette ashes burning my skin as the wind
whipping through the car
scatters my hair
making my skin feel alive.

Burned Out Headlights,
No Socks or Shoes,
Burned Out Tail light,
No Pants for me.

Four half naked girls crammed into a red mustang,
the Thursday night rush of mooning and ordering ice from Sonic
Naked,
or mostly so,
bra still on, maybe another layer or so.

All I can think is, time is weighing us down
and sooner, not later,
one of us needs to get home.

Drag of nicotine, and I am feeling high,
Toga day coming up,
and thoughts of suicide are brought back to life.
Two boys I do not want to talk to
manage to give me a call,
I push them off the line
And make my way through the rest of the day
I look at my arms, free of marks, minus the scar that reminds me
that anytime I cut, I will leave a permanent mark
so matter how I wish to destroy this body,
I cannot.

I am that broken out headlight
amongst all the other bright and happy lights
DIDDLE PUD.