Love

There is nothing like the washing, deep emotion known as it. Seeing another person and knowing that they are your future, your everything. I tasted it again, the sweet nectar of love that I once used to take for granted. It was the best thing I have had physically and emotionally in a long time.

Matt is home for Christmas. Every moment was magic with him. At the same time it was torture, the tears welling up in both of our eyes because we want each other so badly and cannot have what we want. It is both of us hating our lives and wishing we could change it all for love. I would give it all.

Dentistry does not matter to me when I look at you Matt. I will never tell you that I would give up everything for you. Thank God you do not read my blog.

I want love. I want you Matt, with everything that I have. When you said, "(my) life is hard," you had no idea how much harder you make it.

I will never regret the 16th.

Love is beautiful, and is what will eventually drive me to my end. The bliss I experienced on that night will never be forgotten.

So glad for everything in the last two days. The two men I am closest to are still alive and talking to me.

I am so glad to be here right now. I still want to wreck myself, now more than ever, but I do not think I will even consider it before Christmas. I talked to Leanne, she's really cool by me now.

I am even more glad to have a blog now.

I love all of you, even those of you that will not admit to reading this right now.

Stay Safe,
Nat
6.3

P.S. As Matt's truck drove away today, my head started playing, "There goes my Life" by Kenny Chesney