Last Night to Live
Drowning did not work. It turns out that the bathtub leaks. I guess that's like everything else in my life, nothing holds any water.
Trying to come up with a new plan. I fear failing for I would not want to live this life anymore hindered than I already am. I would not want to be a vegetable.
Slitting my wrists. I would probably be found before time ran out.
Jumping off a bridge? Pretty good chance I will survive AND be painfully handicapped.
I now have a system in which I rate my level of suicidalness. That's not even a word. Oh well. This will be my grammatically incorrect paragraph.
Anyway, 1 is a suicide attempt, and 10 is perfectly fine, suicide is the last thing on my mind. Have not been above 8.4 in the last two weeks. Today was the peak, but I have dipped back down again. Ranging somewhere around 4.9 right now and steady.
Overdoses usually do not work, because people find you, and then you are ridiculed continually by the nurses and other staffers of the hospital for such a stupid attempt.
Starvation, that is key. I will just simply stop eating.
Or just walk off, down the road. Also involves starvation/dehydration, but it hurries the process up and gets me away from my family. Someone else besides them would find me that way.
Back to my plan. The walk-away.
Timing is key.
4.9 and steady. Think of the sunrise my friends, there is time yet.
"One death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic." -Joseph Stalin
(That man is sick, I love it.)
Trying to come up with a new plan. I fear failing for I would not want to live this life anymore hindered than I already am. I would not want to be a vegetable.
Slitting my wrists. I would probably be found before time ran out.
Jumping off a bridge? Pretty good chance I will survive AND be painfully handicapped.
I now have a system in which I rate my level of suicidalness. That's not even a word. Oh well. This will be my grammatically incorrect paragraph.
Anyway, 1 is a suicide attempt, and 10 is perfectly fine, suicide is the last thing on my mind. Have not been above 8.4 in the last two weeks. Today was the peak, but I have dipped back down again. Ranging somewhere around 4.9 right now and steady.
Overdoses usually do not work, because people find you, and then you are ridiculed continually by the nurses and other staffers of the hospital for such a stupid attempt.
Starvation, that is key. I will just simply stop eating.
Or just walk off, down the road. Also involves starvation/dehydration, but it hurries the process up and gets me away from my family. Someone else besides them would find me that way.
Back to my plan. The walk-away.
Timing is key.
4.9 and steady. Think of the sunrise my friends, there is time yet.
"One death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic." -Joseph Stalin
(That man is sick, I love it.)
posted by Nat Rivera at 9:20 PM
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