Drowning

I close my eyes and slide along the back of the tub into the water. Everything becomes quiet save for the quite sloshing of the small waves above me. I feel the bubbles rise from my nostrils and begin their ascent toward the surface, I won't be joining them.

Longer and Longer I wait under water.

I start thinking about all the things I've done, the people I've hurt, and the people I'll hurt tonight.

It seems like ages, but I've only been under for about a minute now.

Forgive me family, I'm weak. That seems to be such a good excuse for so many people. I was not strong enough. When has someone been born strong enough?

My lungs burn, and I brace the sides of the tub. It is decision time.

I stay, but my chest bursts and I freak, sucking in the water. Sputtering, I fight off the urge to rise to the surface.

Noone in my family is home, there is noone to save me. I relax and force another swallow of water.

Water sloshing as I come up from underwater. My head spins, I do not have the strength to push the water from my lungs. I guess sometimes being too weak is a reason after all.

Death comes as I wait by its waters. I'm sorry everyone. Take Care of Yourself.