I keep on smiling

Inadequate. Completely untalented. Hardworking. Tired.

That's me.

WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SO HARD????

I'm tired of this bull shit. I am weary of God's sadistic sense of humor.

JUST FUCKING KILL ME!


.6 and falling.

So pissed.

The only thing that keeps me from hurting myself is the hatred that I have for everyone else who gets to take the easy road when I keep going on the cactus filled rocky trail, barefoot. I carefully pick my way through, but I am too slow and everyone else is reaching their destination so much faster.

I just want to sit down. Melt in the hot sun. Lips chapped and bleeding.

I cut into my flesh and it burns. I hide my scars where no one can look. I hate everything.

I hate love. I hate God. I hate the fact that I put this on my blog and you'll read it. Justin, Jolene and Ian see the bad. No one else sees it but you guys. And I hate you for knowing.

So damaged.

I think I'll go watch some Ally McBeal and finish it tonight. I don't want to see tomorrow.

There's no use studying anymore for a test I won't take.

Ian, please watch out for Dominic.

Stay safe.