"Honesty, tell me that it's over"

My throat burns. I am sick again.

Was deserted last night, for the last time. I hate life. There is only one person I truly trust, and he does not trust anyone else in my life, nor do they trust him. I hate the incredible turns I have to take just because others insist on leaving me, or giving up and refusing to be there for me.

I have a question for you today. How should I react when someone looks me in the eyes and lies? I want you to tell me the answer to that. I am tired of you knowing everything and not sharing any of your knowledge. While you are at it, perhaps you could answer my list of other questions.

How should I feel when I have been stabbed in the back again?
How should I feel when I completely trusted another and got in over my head with more beings to take care of?
How should I feel when my love is kept away by the evil twists of life?
How should I feel as I am ridiculed for being unreliable even while I take care of 17 different animals that rely on me for survival?
How should I feel as I clean my horse's sore while I hold back the vomit?
How should I feel bearing the face of a woman I killed?
How should I feel as I tear my life apart piece by piece?
How should I feel, going to school but never learning?
How should I feel, dealing with others' mental and emotional states long before my own?
How should I feel, always a friend but completely friendless myself?
How should I feel, damned by GOD and his entire WORLD?
How should I feel, painfully drawing breath in a body I cannot stand?
How should I feel, breathing with a mortal wound eating into me?
How should I feel?

Tell me! You already say how I should act, think, and look. Now I give you charge of everything. So I ask you one last time,
What should I feel?