Messing It All Up

This morning I was in tears after another conversation with Matt. He didn't do anything to cause it, he was not him being a jerk, it was just. . .Talking to Matt. I never get to talk to him because I am always talking to his overcompensating evil half, 'Cadet Michealson.'

I am completely and totally ripped because I am not over Matthew. I never will be. Interesting that love can be totally life-changing. Even now as I continue on with my life and strive to move forward, I find myself begging myself to go after Matt. Crazy isn't it? Here I am, falling for an amazingly attractive and wonderful birder of a man, and I am still wanting my old flame back in my life.

The movie Castaway probably shows it the best. Tom Hanks strives to get back to his love only to find that she HAD to move on, so they both never get what they want. It's life laughing at us.

Love, ah, one must take it with a grain of salt and a good sense of humor.

I have thought about my situation with Ryan even more, and want to talk to him about it.

For now, all I have left to share is that watching movies from halfway through is CRAZY, especially if you do not try to. . .

Have a great day.