"What do you know? You're Suicidal!"
The words ring out again, echoing in my memory, haunting my dreams. I can think back to Christmas, when my whole family knew that I was thinking about killing myself. Even then it was over-shadowed by Ian's chaos. I know this makes me crazy, but I was so jealous of him. I wish that I had taken my life then.
As Dominic said earlier today, "I hope that nothing else big happens with the family this week so that my broken arm can be the big thing for a while."
I just wish I was the big thing, just for a little while. If I not willing to take my own life immediately, I do not exist. Amazing. I do not exist unless I do not want to exist. Murphy's law.
I hate life. I hate this world. I hate pain, I hate everything. I hate God and I hate you, his precious beings.
As Dominic said earlier today, "I hope that nothing else big happens with the family this week so that my broken arm can be the big thing for a while."
I just wish I was the big thing, just for a little while. If I not willing to take my own life immediately, I do not exist. Amazing. I do not exist unless I do not want to exist. Murphy's law.
I hate life. I hate this world. I hate pain, I hate everything. I hate God and I hate you, his precious beings.
posted by Nat Rivera at 12:55 AM
1 Comments:
Some words of wisdom for you? I read this quote every time I feel suicidal.
"The thing about life is that you must survive. Life is going to be difficult, and dreadful things will happen. What you do is to move along, get on with it, and be tough. Not in the sense of being mean to others, but being tough with yourself and making a deadly effort not to be defeated."
-Katharine Houghtin Hepburn
1907-2003
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