Sad Eyes

Pain inside comes creeping out. This week has only been a reminder of my solitude. I have shared things with someone I never thought I would say, and now I realize that I just want to shout it out loud. I need to let others know. I am tired of this need to break something, but that is only because the blows I took are now part of what I am, what I do.

Scared of myself, I see her, staring back at me through sad eyes. I never became what I was supposed to.

My mother lives, haunting me daily. EVERY night, I fall into my restless slumber, and there she is. Even though she only hit me once during my sophomore year, I see her, screaming at me and beating me until I cry out. Sad eyes that see all my actions now stare back at me from the mirror.

I can barely breath for this is not enough room for two inside this body.

I know you all see it, that I am not the same. I will never be, but I try, for you.

Scared and alone,

-Nat