The Problem is Me
The relationship is perfect, I mean, straight up, what I want for the rest of my life, P-E-R-F-E-C-T, perfect with Matt.
That's the problem.
I don't like perfect.
I am going crazy right now. I am happy that we are apart, upset that we are apart, thrilled to talk to him, dread it, all at once. I am wrecking myself over it.
In addition, I keep on having dirty dreams about someone else. I feel awful.
I want out, I never want to let go, I'M GOING MAD!
I just want it all to be over.
Everything. I am tired of this struggle we call life.
Yet I suffer through it. I basically am throwing away my bestfriend because I am freaking out in that relationship as well.
I need to be on medication.
This is out of hand.
Dominic asked me why I was so gloomy today, how do I explain 18 years of insanity?
I want to scream, I want to be locked away, I want God to take this from me, yet I am thankful to not be one of the sane.
I've lost it.
That's the problem.
I don't like perfect.
I am going crazy right now. I am happy that we are apart, upset that we are apart, thrilled to talk to him, dread it, all at once. I am wrecking myself over it.
In addition, I keep on having dirty dreams about someone else. I feel awful.
I want out, I never want to let go, I'M GOING MAD!
I just want it all to be over.
Everything. I am tired of this struggle we call life.
Yet I suffer through it. I basically am throwing away my bestfriend because I am freaking out in that relationship as well.
I need to be on medication.
This is out of hand.
Dominic asked me why I was so gloomy today, how do I explain 18 years of insanity?
I want to scream, I want to be locked away, I want God to take this from me, yet I am thankful to not be one of the sane.
I've lost it.
posted by Nat Rivera at 12:48 AM
1 Comments:
Hey Nat. I too am doubting a perfect relationship. I want to explore my options, but at the same time I don't. I hate this feeling. Just letting you know that you are not alone and that I am a pretty good listener. Love ya.
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