The Worst Nightmare
So I had a dream last night, one where I knew it was a dream, but I still let my subconscious take me wherever it may just so I could see how it ends. My Mom was in it, I guess that is what kept me in the dream for so long.
I am driving my car, the suburban and I see her. I try to drive off, but my mom battled her way into my car with more power and strength than anyone I had ever fought before. I was soon helpless and she sat beside me as if nothing had happened. She did not hold it against me for fighting her away. She then tries to convince me that she was never dead and has simply been away, like on vacation, for the last ten months. I believe her, forgetting the funeral, her coffin, and the ashes.
I awoke teary eyed and was terrified as soon as I realized that she is dead and gone. I looked to the clock. 1:37 am. I wanted to call Ian and beg him to come hold me. I didn't want to be alone. Then I realized that I did not have to. I could quickly slip back into my dream and be with my mother. I would not have to miss her anymore if I could just hold onto that memory for one more night. Clutching my pillow I rolled over back into the restless slumber, hoping soon to be again in the car with my mother.
We are walking through my living room, past the recently decorated Christmas tree toward the back door which stands wide open. Damn, I missed part of the dream! It is warm outside, like in the summer. Dominic is laughing in the dark next to the recycling bin. Dad and Julia are smiling, I must have missed a pretty funny situation or story. Dad has his arm around Julia, he looks completely in love. They look up in the dark toward me, and then beyond. I know in that moment that Mom is standing right behind me. Nobody says anything. Guiltily, as if I have ratted out my father, I say "Mom's home." His eyes darken, and they step apart. Without looking back, Mom's voice drifts over me. "It's okay." My Dad reaches for Julia's hand, and they connect again.
I am awake again, briefly. 2:00 am. I could still get more sleep, so I roll over and do. I have to know how it ends.
I am a ghost, no one can see or hear me except those that truly try to. I know that Mom is dead so I try to find her among the other ghosts, but we are all lost children, and I am only nine. I cry, and my family sees me but cannot touch me. I am alone again.
I awake, but do not look at the clock. Come on Natalie, just a bit more sleep and you'll see the end!
Suddenly I am in a field, driving an ancient stick shift suburban. White on the outside, tan on the interior. My passenger seat is empty, and I feel the stress that I am searching for something. It must be her. Where are you Mommy? I am scared because I fear what I will find, ashes and nothing more. I do not want that to be the end of my story. I drive on. I am driving stick way too well, I am reassured that this is simply a dream.
Instantly I am outside, standing on a ramp usually used for loading cattle on the truck to go to market. I am holding a baby goat and begging Quentin and Elliot not to kill it. Eventually I jump down, realizing that they have no intention of letting the kid escape alive. I begin running, dodging Quentin's ceaseless fire. I am surprised as the goat tranforms into another type of kid, a human baby boy. I run with him tightly bound in my arms to the nearest barn in hopes of finding the white suburban there. It is not, and the barn gives Quentin only free shots at us. I sprint on to the second barn, and find the car there. We drive away, hearing the gunfire hit the car's metal with loud bangs. Even though the baby is scared, he does not cry.
I am scared, again. 5 am. Still an hour to sleep. Please Lord, let me see her again!
A large estate overlooks the fields I had been dodging my way through only moments before, except it is several years later. It is an M. Night Shyamalan film, I can tell that something is awry already. Across the fields the city lights go out, and a brunette woman I have never met screams that they are coming. She is quickly silenced by Julia who directs the woman and, her son, the baby boy from earlier, who is now five, towards the attic. "Lock the door." The creatures in the woods are coming. They have feet like the aliens from 'Signs.' If light gets shined in their eyes or you make eye contact, they'll kill you instantly. We are hurrying to shut off the lights. I am asked, "What can I do to help" by the person to my right. I direct her to shut off the light in the kitchen. I look up, right before she hits the switch, and I see her, Mom. "All clear" she says, and vanishes into the darkness. I know she is gone. I am alone, and the creature stands before me, using a flashlight I check the creatures feet. In the narrow circle of light I see them, a pair of hideous and gnarled gray feet, they are not human.
"WAKE UP NATALIE! We still have to get gas!" Ben the alarm clock awakes me at 6:32 and I shake away my sleep. I don't know if I'll ever see my Mom again and I tremble with the thought of another dream such as last nights. The idea of not seeing my Mom terrifies me, but last night's experience horrifies me to the point of tears. Today is going to be a bad day.
I am driving my car, the suburban and I see her. I try to drive off, but my mom battled her way into my car with more power and strength than anyone I had ever fought before. I was soon helpless and she sat beside me as if nothing had happened. She did not hold it against me for fighting her away. She then tries to convince me that she was never dead and has simply been away, like on vacation, for the last ten months. I believe her, forgetting the funeral, her coffin, and the ashes.
I awoke teary eyed and was terrified as soon as I realized that she is dead and gone. I looked to the clock. 1:37 am. I wanted to call Ian and beg him to come hold me. I didn't want to be alone. Then I realized that I did not have to. I could quickly slip back into my dream and be with my mother. I would not have to miss her anymore if I could just hold onto that memory for one more night. Clutching my pillow I rolled over back into the restless slumber, hoping soon to be again in the car with my mother.
We are walking through my living room, past the recently decorated Christmas tree toward the back door which stands wide open. Damn, I missed part of the dream! It is warm outside, like in the summer. Dominic is laughing in the dark next to the recycling bin. Dad and Julia are smiling, I must have missed a pretty funny situation or story. Dad has his arm around Julia, he looks completely in love. They look up in the dark toward me, and then beyond. I know in that moment that Mom is standing right behind me. Nobody says anything. Guiltily, as if I have ratted out my father, I say "Mom's home." His eyes darken, and they step apart. Without looking back, Mom's voice drifts over me. "It's okay." My Dad reaches for Julia's hand, and they connect again.
I am awake again, briefly. 2:00 am. I could still get more sleep, so I roll over and do. I have to know how it ends.
I am a ghost, no one can see or hear me except those that truly try to. I know that Mom is dead so I try to find her among the other ghosts, but we are all lost children, and I am only nine. I cry, and my family sees me but cannot touch me. I am alone again.
I awake, but do not look at the clock. Come on Natalie, just a bit more sleep and you'll see the end!
Suddenly I am in a field, driving an ancient stick shift suburban. White on the outside, tan on the interior. My passenger seat is empty, and I feel the stress that I am searching for something. It must be her. Where are you Mommy? I am scared because I fear what I will find, ashes and nothing more. I do not want that to be the end of my story. I drive on. I am driving stick way too well, I am reassured that this is simply a dream.
Instantly I am outside, standing on a ramp usually used for loading cattle on the truck to go to market. I am holding a baby goat and begging Quentin and Elliot not to kill it. Eventually I jump down, realizing that they have no intention of letting the kid escape alive. I begin running, dodging Quentin's ceaseless fire. I am surprised as the goat tranforms into another type of kid, a human baby boy. I run with him tightly bound in my arms to the nearest barn in hopes of finding the white suburban there. It is not, and the barn gives Quentin only free shots at us. I sprint on to the second barn, and find the car there. We drive away, hearing the gunfire hit the car's metal with loud bangs. Even though the baby is scared, he does not cry.
I am scared, again. 5 am. Still an hour to sleep. Please Lord, let me see her again!
A large estate overlooks the fields I had been dodging my way through only moments before, except it is several years later. It is an M. Night Shyamalan film, I can tell that something is awry already. Across the fields the city lights go out, and a brunette woman I have never met screams that they are coming. She is quickly silenced by Julia who directs the woman and, her son, the baby boy from earlier, who is now five, towards the attic. "Lock the door." The creatures in the woods are coming. They have feet like the aliens from 'Signs.' If light gets shined in their eyes or you make eye contact, they'll kill you instantly. We are hurrying to shut off the lights. I am asked, "What can I do to help" by the person to my right. I direct her to shut off the light in the kitchen. I look up, right before she hits the switch, and I see her, Mom. "All clear" she says, and vanishes into the darkness. I know she is gone. I am alone, and the creature stands before me, using a flashlight I check the creatures feet. In the narrow circle of light I see them, a pair of hideous and gnarled gray feet, they are not human.
"WAKE UP NATALIE! We still have to get gas!" Ben the alarm clock awakes me at 6:32 and I shake away my sleep. I don't know if I'll ever see my Mom again and I tremble with the thought of another dream such as last nights. The idea of not seeing my Mom terrifies me, but last night's experience horrifies me to the point of tears. Today is going to be a bad day.
posted by Nat Rivera at 6:41 PM
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